Monday, March 23, 2020

Jigsaw Puzzles

If you can’t feel sheer panic in a pandemic when can you? The actual appropriate emotions for this situation is existential angst, paranoia or panic. Feel it it’s okay....then talk yourself down. Or ask for someone to talk you down. 
You can phone me if you want. For the last six weeks I have often woken (after having trouble falling asleep) to a sense of falling or loss. I don’t suffer from Existentialism (I recovered from that as a teen healing from childhood trauma, and exploring meditation) . However I do have anxiety times. I lead a very risk-assessment lifestyle based on past losses. And pretty much any suffering is a trigger. I have recently joked “I’ll choose class war over this virus.” If we could bargain for suffering inequality is looking a lot better. In the movie The Matrix we see that there are worse things than a boring job or death: you could be a battery. 
 Rev Patti of the Buddhist Temple of chicago is conducting movie discussions. We met in video conference call to discuss "Parasite" and the "Last Black Man In San Francisco" and Buddhism last week. This coming week we are going to discuss Buddhism and "The Godfather". At home Stagg and I are watching tons of stuff. We did retrospective of Steven Soderberg movies and Adam Sandler movies. I also highly recommend "Hey Big Boy" stand up comic on Netflix.



I did have a moment of sheer panic a month ago when it really hit me how bad this is, with information from my family, and them telling me to "get ready."My mind was really struggling to overcome a feeling of chaos. We each need to find out what are the things in life that help us feel peace of mind.... and then what is peace of mind? When I get anxious I get “agitated depression.” It’s very practical like cleaning the house, organizing shelves.... and that is helpful in many ways. A doctor recognized that in me and I had to come to terms with not letting “being busy” rule my life. Corporate world views say we should be busy. Adages like “busy hands are happy hands” are how control systems control us. 
Hang in there. Feel afraid that is the appropriate emotion. That means you are well-adjusted. Then.... find out what lies on the other side of fear. 
I hope you come up with new ways to live, new ways to make a living and new ways to build community.
Now I’m going out to the nightclub. And by nightclub I mean the grocery store. Yes risk assessment changes in our lives. Phone me if you are losing it I can talk you down. Remember nothing is under control and it never was. Now where is that piped in Muzak.....I need some vegies....the second pic is a jigsaw I started about 2 years ago and put away in an inflatable puzzle container that saves your work. The book is the magician we interviewed in our last podcast.

No comments:

generated by sloganizer.net