Monday, December 22, 2008

A Lawyer's Holiday Greetings

I got the following e-mail from my friend Greg...yep a lawyer...

Please accept with no obligation, express, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially responsible, low-strees, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the Winter Holiday practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, and/or secular practices of your choice, with due and appropriate respect for the religious and/or secular persuasions and practices of others (generally considered to be members of the homo sapiens species and recognized as such) or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilling, and medically-uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally-accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent Holiday Greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher...

In other words, have a wonderful holiday and a happy new year!

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