Sunday, September 14, 2008
Bra Shopping And Other Blood Clot Clusterfucks
This post is dedicated to Gardenia, Wandering Coyote, Red and Canuck Hockey Girl who have shared the pain. Also, most of you all know Stagg and I never seem to do things the "normal" or "easy" way. When we aren't putting our foots in our mouths or missing planes we are at the whim of Murphy's Law. Or FUBAR. Heh heh. Sometimes we wonder how we ever get anything done and the only thing worse than being at the mercy of a confederacy of dunces...is when you feel like one of the dunces.
The clerk at Sears forgot to remove the security tag from my new bras. Apparently using a hammer on a porcelain sink to remove tag not only cracks said sink beyond repair it sends red ink all over the place.
I've got the sales receipts. I could have gone to the store and got tags removed by the retail staff. But. I had just spent a grueling Friday evening trying on bras in flourescent lighting (enough said) and I had to hurry to meet an appointment for some clothing fitting. This visit with a seamstress was exactly WHY I had to buy a special new bra and needed it for use NOW. I already was feeling excited and nervous and strained for time. So not making the extra trip to the department store and instead trying to McGyver the tag off domestically seemed like a pragmatic decision. I had also had a very rigid two weeks of actually writing down every blood clot calorie I had eaten all day long in order to get my previous-to -living-with-a-boy waistline returned. So I was feeling the effects of my own self-tyranny and I expect my judgement was compromised. Heh heh. Faint with hunger, Yeah right.
Anyways. Being a firm believer in "lila"...I decided to cancel the costume fittings and besides...I still haven't figured out a way to get this red ink off my arms, neck and hands. I didn't feel like trying to explain to either the Sears staff or the seamstress how I didn't steal a bra but was just the poor sod who hears the universe saying "not today!"