Thursday, July 12, 2007

I Have A Stalker-Part 2

This is a post directed to a victim of my stalker...

...and I don't know if this post is going to help us resolve our differences...I posted it yesterday and still I haven't heard from a fellow participant at my online bookclub...who was used by someone stalking me in order to get to me.

When I noticed I had an anonymous person harassing me at my online bookclub... I was afraid...why and who could this person be? Then when I started to suspect that a fellow participant was e-mailing and seemed chummy with this stalker...I confronted them...and we have had a falling out ever since. We had had a challenging ten years of discussions at this book club long before this stalker starting to harass me online...and I suspect this stalker knew how to manipulate people and take advantage of their adversarial position with me.

I've re-written this post because it feels futile...especially since I may not be able to resolve the issue with this victim of my stalker.

My stalker is a sadistic sociopath...and even writing about them is upsetting...and hardly a conducive way to start patching things up with someone also victimized by them. somehow acknowledging the manipulative talents of this stalker begins to free their power over others though...and it has been advised that one should talk about their stalker to be able to heal from the experience and in order to remove their power.

I hope that some how this fellow victim of my stalker will come here...because I am very sorry that I was angry with them...and realize now...perhaps too late...

...that there was almost no way they could have understood how manipulative and deceptive this persons motives were...I know it's taken me a year to finally figure out why they were harassing me online.

Now that I know my stalkers motives and their methods...I am no longer afraid of them...but unfortunately they did a lot of damage between some book club participants...and maybe it is too late to repair the damage?

I hope not.

8 comments:

Gardenia said...

Oh, Candy - I understand a bit more about your stalker episode now and thanks for the honesty (a great message to all of us!) - and I continue to be amazed at the person you are.....

Candy Minx said...

Well, thanks Gardenia...I have been hoping this poor person who was used by this woman will show up here and we can work things out.

He and I keep butting up against each other and when we do...this stalker incident keeps being a sore point.

I feel very bad about my falling out with him...and I feel very sick to my stomach that he was used. In fact...he may have suffered more than me by the sounds of this situation.

We had a challenging relationship at my book club for ten years this person and I...

...and now I see that the woman who has been harassing me there was able to find a person who wasn't close to me...and had a histry of discussions and disagreements as a pawn in her game.

You know...I've done a lot of research into harassment and stalker and honestly...it can create a post tramatice stress disorder in the victims...and I am worried about this fellow participant and how her mindgames have affected him as well as myself.


I feel if he and I were able to talk about it...some peace, or resolution may come about.

He could log in here as "anonymous" or "other" easily...and since it isn't e-mail we will have a sense of accountability and safety in this format...I hold out hope for this kind of resolution.

I also believe that my visitors and friends here will be very supportive of him too...he will be very welcome if he decides to talk with me...

Wandering Coyote said...

Man, this has been going on waaaaay to long, Candy! I remember you emailing me about it over a year ago...I cannot believe it's still unresolved. I don't know what to say ...there is little you can do with mentally unstable people, and it's not like you can get a restraining order or anything. I hope you get some closure from this guy you're reaching out to.

Anonymous said...

please keep your hysterical, boring diatribes off the cormac mccarthy board.

sincerley,

cormac mccarthy

Wandering Coyote said...

Oooh, the infamous anonymous...

Candy Minx said...

It's disappointing that a Cormac McCarthy fan doesn't understand that both bullying and stalking are serious behaviours.

See: reading masterpieces doesn't guarantee people grow up to be thoughtful or kind.

I would like to clarify here on my blog that I belong to half a dozen online bookclubs..and in no way does this post indicate that my online stalker is at the McCarthy forum.

* (asterisk) said...

Just when you think you've found a community of like-minded people, you realize once again that people do in fact suck.

marc said...

>> in no way does this post indicate that my online stalker is at the McCarthy forum...<<

They always slip up, don't they -- damn, you're good!!!