Monday, February 04, 2008

Some Relief For Friends Suffering...


Last week or so, ABC 20/20 had an episode "Anger In America" which was something I was interested in as a lot of people I know including myself have issues with anger. Many people are surprised when I tell this because I seem nice and fun...which I am...but I grew up with angry parents who never resolved their misplaced anger...(I never wanted to be like them so I would repress my anger) and that was not healthy as a teenager. (or at any time...because the anger will sneak out! Fortunately I got interested in meditation when I was a kid...and that helped a fair bit...lots of observation and therapy helped too ha!). I called one of my best friends the other day to discuss the new season of LOST. Anita and I are hooked...and then she said out of the blue...she watched two episodes of 20/20 and (one about kids on medication...but that is another post) thought of me...we were surprised that we both interested in this show on 20/20. Studies claim that men have more anger than women, people do get angrier as they get older (I think because they are disappointed with their lives) and featured an interview with one of Stagg's favourite comedians Lewis Black. Anyways...a couple of blog pals have been having some challenges with anger...and I feel for them so here is a little summin summin from....


His Holiness The Dalai Lama offers wisdom about anger:

1. Anger is the real destroyer of our good human qualities; an enemy with a weapon cannot destroy these qualities, but anger can. Anger is our real enemy.

2. If we live our lives continually motivated by anger and hatred, even our physical health deteriorates.

3. Anger or hatred is like a fisherman's hook. It is very important for us to ensure that we are not caught by it.

4. We have a saying in Tibet: "If you lose your temper and get angry, bite your knuckles." This means that if you lose your temper, do not show it to others. Rather, say to yourself, "Leave it."

5. According to Buddhist psychology, most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities. The pursuit of the objects of our desire and attachment involves the use of aggression and competitiveness. . . These mental processes easily translate into actions, breeding belligerence.

Such processes have been going on in the human mind since time immemorial, but their execution has become more effective under modern conditions. What can we do to control and regulate these "poisons"--delusion, greed and aggression? For it is these poisons that are behind almost every trouble in the world.

5. Hatred can be the greatest stumbling block to the development of compassion and happiness. If you learn to develop patience and tolerance towards your enemies, then everything becomes much easier--your compassion towards all others begins to flow naturally.

6. Happiness cannot come from hatred or anger. Nobody can say, "Today I am happy because this morning I was angry." On the contrary, people feel uneasy and sad and say, "Today I am not very happy, because I lost my temper this morning."

* Through kindness, whether at our own level or at the national and international level, through mutual understanding and through mutual respect, we will get peace, we will get happiness, and we will get genuine satisfaction.

5 comments:

Red said...

The Dalai Lama is very wise indeed.

I agree with you that people get angrier as they get older because of a growing gap between what they thought their life would be and what their life actually is. Many people come to the realization that their dreams will remain just that, and get frustrated and angry as a result.

Candy Minx said...

Yep...if it's a game this life...who do we want to be? A good sport, or a sore loser?

Blue said...

phenomenal post, CM! Wandering Coyote has a great sidebar that lends itself to this topic.

Uncle Steve said...

I loved this post, Candy.

Have you yet come across the work of the Vietnamese monk Nhat Hanh? Check him out in Wikipedia. My new spititual guide, the "Young Buddhist" otherwise known as Rick Robinson, introduced me to this man's writing and Engaged Buddhism. It is absolutely right up your alley.

Candy Minx said...

Blue, thanks! and thanks for stopping by...i've been to your blog, but I am not able to post a comment...I don't know why I've tried and tried...please know I am following though...and will keep trying.

Uncle Steve...consider the assignment taken! I do not know the writer/sage and will check them out...I'd like to hear more about the young buddhist friend! Er guide etc...