Sheesh The Lilas

Okay I gotta write this while some things are fresh in my mind. Stagg is still sleeping. Last night we got here unexpectedly and we had reservation in a hostel but it wasnt until today. We went into the hostel and talked to them about pur mix up and they let us keep the car in the parking lot which was a great help. We thought if we have to we'll stay up all night. New Orleans is the perfect place for staying up all night. We had a cocktail down the street and walked around the neighborhood till just after midnight and we thought we could sleep in the car. We have a lot of things we wanted to do this morning and at least a nap would be wise.I slept okay for a couple hours then had to wake up Stagg to walk me in the dark around 4 to find a loo. Figures! That cocktail caught up with me heh heh.

We got back to the car and had another nap.

Now listen, I am sure a few friends and family members have been surprised that I've been able to function... Even live quite well without my beloved tv and favorite programs. I admit it is a strange thing for me in some ways. I mean I haven't watched Oprah in 3 months! I missed the finales of survivor! I haven't seen bill maher or Jon Stewart in months.

I admit... To an outsider I'm pretty addicted to my stories. I love me some tv. I love me some pop culture. We haven't watched or rented a movie "at home" for months. It's different. And under the circumstance I actually don't think about it that much.

Tv and movies and novels and music are my Greek chorus. They aren't "escape" they are every bit as vital and life affirming in my opinion as food and water. I believe part of our evolutionary adaptations for survival include storytelling. No really, for real. No shit.

So anyways. I've had the weirdest daydreams all last night while sleeping and waking and being just a little restless and all about sleeping in the car. I found myself recalling a little known movie called "Storyville" last night. And I thought about the Dennis quad movie " the big easy". And most of all I was really obsessing about all the characters in "term". I swear I had to keep telling myself they aren't real. I kept thinking hey maybe I'll see steve zhan or Melissa Leo any minute. Not the actors the characters they played in "term". I mean even in the privacy of my own mind I was a little embarrassed by myself. I was so immersed in thinking about these hbo characters... I had the illusion of "knowing" them. Like I half thought I'd see steve earl any minute. I didn't even tell Stagg about this powerful sensation because I thought he'd think I was such a nut and obsessed with tv. I started thinking about John goodman and his character on "term" and o got choked up in the dark in the car and I tried to not think about him. I wondered how could he have chosen that. I said to myself happy thoughts happy thoughts.

I am not a superstitious person ... Except that in some ways I guess I am. I believe and experience lilies. I feel despite my rational side I sometimes feel things are signs. I do try to feel the energy of encounters with people and try to see the Tao. These are considered superstitious attitudes.

So here I am having a coffee at 6:30 using the wifi. And in comes John goodman and he's standing beside me ordering coffee. I shit you not. Talk about a Lila. Talk about a sign. I feel we are in the absolute place we should be in the universe right now. I feel peace and bittersweet. I held back tears of joy sitting outside this morning here typing to you.

Oh and btw, I think Stagg has been kind of impressed with how I haven't joneses too much for my tv stories. I can't wait to tell him this story when he wakes up.