Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Photos Off EHD

 Our desktop passed out last spring and I thought I lost a lot of photos but found a bunch that I had actually saved on external hard drive. Below is making the opening credits for short film. In my pjs.

 And this is with this mascara

Working Stuff

I've been selling this make up for a few weeks. I started with the mascara....it's really really good. It takes about 15-20 minutes to apply, but it's so good.

Check out my web page here, 3D Moonstruck Mascara

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Untold History Of The United States

I love Oliver Stone movies. Love them. NATURAL BORN KILLERS is one of my favourite movies. I posted a few days ago we had re-watched JFK after watching a doc on Jimmy Hoffa. And then a comment on that post saying "I wouldn't trust Stone for my view of history" is one I thought..."of course not, he's not for history, he's for profound character study within fiction. Right, I get that". I had noticed that Oliver Stone had a series on Showtime. I for some reason....just assumed it was a conspiracy show or something and that I wouldn't be interested. This is weird I thought that since I love his movies...but I just didn't put it into my queue. So....after my post the other day I thought..."hey maybe I should see what that Showtime Oliver Stone series is about....." Well, it's hardboiled brilliantly edited stone cold "untold history of United States" ZOWIE! It's fucking awesome! I love the pace, the juxtaposition of images going into events and their timing. The series begins with WW2. I'm on episode 4....just after the bomb has been dropped and the Cold War is pounding away within the paranoid minds of United States culture. Fascinating. I had no idea that Truman was such an unqualified weasel! He probably shouldn't have even been President! And he was brought to office by a cabal similar to Karl Rove and Dick Cheney and Koch Brothers. Wow! Stone massively rejects David McCullam's biography. (and the Gary Sinise HBO series based on that book) . This series is like the movie SYRIANA...and I can't believe it was allowed to be made and the producers weren't assassinated. I thought when Stone rejected the mainstream version of Trumans presidency I thought my head would explode. I really am impressed by the style and format and pace of the series...as well as it's radical focus on connections and childhood wounds played out by adults. This is a must see series along the lines of Howard Zinn's masterpiece "A People's History Of The United States".

Some reviews:

1) NYTs

2) Daily Beast

3) The Guardian

Friday, January 16, 2015

Amish And Cell Phones

Amish settlements have become a cliché for refusing technology. Tens of thousands of people wear identical, plain, homemade clothing, cultivate their rich fields with horse-drawn machinery, and live in houses lacking that basic modern spirit called electricity. But the Amish do use such 20th-century consumer technologies as disposable diapers, in-line skates, and gas barbecue grills. Some might call this combination paradoxical, even contradictory. But it could also be called sophisticated, because the Amish have an elaborate system by which they evaluate the tools they use; their tentative, at times reluctant use of technology is more complex than a simple rejection or a whole-hearted embrace. What if modern Americans could possibly agree upon criteria for acceptance, as the Amish have? Might we find better ways to wield technological power, other than simply unleashing it and seeing what happens? What can we learn from a culture that habitually negotiates the rules for new tools?

From http://archive.wired.com/wired/archive/7.01/amish.html>WIRED

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Monday, January 12, 2015


Ostrich claims that 'according to folklore and to early medical and pre-scientific texts on conception, both sexes had to anticipate pleasure and experience orgasm in order to procreate successfully' In her research on gynecological and obstetrical txts published from 1570-1740, Audrey Eccles also found that most scientists believed the woman produced a seed or 'stone' which was thought to be 'emitted during orgasm and mixed with the male seed on conception'. And despite a lack of consensus n how conception was achieved, 'a robust insistence on mutual pleasure was maintained throughout this period'. Further, it must be remembered that this is an arranged marriage, and as Rubin correctly points out, 'The needs of sexuality and procreation must be satisfied as much as the need to eat, and as one of the most obvious deductions which can be made from the data of anthropology is that these needs are hardly ever satisfied in any "natural" form, and more than are the needs for food....Every society also has a sex/gender system-a set of arrangements by which the biological raw material of human sex and procreation is shaped by human, social intervention and satisfied in a conventional manner, no matter how bizarre some of the conventions may be'. This helps to explain why Henry, while engaging in the decidedly bizarre convention of wooing a woman to whom marriage is already arranged, has also sought Katherine's willingness to help him produce heirs. If she decides or involuntarily concedes, Henry may not achieve the successful line with which he has been so preoccupied. After all, Henry knows from painful personal experience that royal legitimacy does not occur naturally. Thus as Rackin states succinctly:'the royal authority that Henry V finally represents is an achievement, not an inheritance'.

From here...


Frozen, Discussion From Facebook...

I have copied some comments about the movie FROZEN here. I have removed the links and names involved....except for my name. I put a "______" indicating someone else posting on Facebook. For my responses...I just say "ME". I am posting this here because I'd like to compose a review of the movie here...so this helps me find it. It's almost impossible to find any discussions once they time out on Facebook.

Here goes....

_________Why dose everyone want to be Elsa? She has issues. (Sorry Anne Beal, my friend lent me the movie and I have to give it right back so I watched it. I think we'll all have to find a way to watch it with Candy so she can do the psychological break down because think Elsa has issues.

__________Trying to be the only person in the universe that has not seen it.

 _____________Totally--that movie hits all my older sister issues because she's so messed up.

ME: Yes, Elsa has issues. The movie does display and render childhood wounds. Even with the most wonderful parents in the whole world...we ALL still have childhood wounds...it's the nature of life. If we don't reconcile them they develop devices that sabotage our lives. Else has power. Power as a woman, and it's also dangerous. Her power is feared so she is locked away rather than taught how to use her power. Her power is even more amazing when she uses it with love!!! And that is an incredible message. However, I really feel for her. As an artist and a child who was shy and unusual...I relate to being judged. Anna her sister...is actually also like me too though. And her wounds are that her parents separated them and didn't incorporate the power of the two girls together!!! Having their parents die gives them both abandonment issues. So there are layers of abandonment issues. And that is one of the most common childhood wounds. This movie has resonated with kids because they immediately unconsciously understand what "magic power" is to them. And what pain childhood incurs. Elsa isn't really more messed up than others. The "well-adjusted" characters are Swen and Kristof...they have a great friendship. The movie is about how do we have intimate, deep trusting relationships in a world that judges us and separates us if we are different. The reconciliation of friendship/siblings is what touches children so powerfully...they do unconsciously feels they are stupid from using their own magic and power. And as for feminist themes...I could go nuts. Because the real power that women have is sexual and to have children. So stopping girls from their friendships and relationships...because they are "dangerous" is also unconsciously touching the people who love this movie or relate to the movie. And then.////the next subtext of the story is...that Elsa has mental health issues. So her being locked away because she is "crazy and dangerous" is so profound to have a story that so carefully alludes to her "problems". The real problem with mental health is when we try to to lock people away....And...on another level Elsa may be weird, but she chooses to protect her loved ones at the sacrifice of herself. She seems to be as surprised by her own powers as everyone else. Her story arc is one of a a child changing into an adult. Instead of the incredible hulk, we have a female character who can't seem to control her anger. Her emotions are her enemy...and yet they are magic. Also...I've read this somewhere...she "comes out". She goes to have her isolation to mature. Instead of us seeing her grow up before our eyes and change or transform sexually...like Hayley Mills, or Miley Cyrus, or Lindsay Lohan...she goes to her privacy...to change. She "comes out" theoretically grown, more mature, sexually transformed. This is an incredible statement in our celebrity vampire culture of assuming we get to watch and judge a child star transform.

____________Well, I thought Candy, that you'd save the speech for the group viewing. I can't relate to either one because they're both sort of popular in their own way aren't they?  Laurel, don't fight it. You know you want the clothes.  Anne so now it's all laid out for you. I just don't get why the kids are all crapping their pants to see Elsa. How 'bout if she freezes your heart and she doesn't even like you?

__________Candy... i love your analysis. I, as a younger sister, saw so many of the themes that you elucidated. I was particularly touched by the theme of "locking away what is different". And the fear of Elsa's power. It was so metaphoric to me; and I completely agree that it is about female empowerment. Do you want to build a snowman makes me cry every time. Elsa keeps to herself to protect; she blames herself, and no adult, no loving adult, her parents here, deal with it properly. They don't address the issue; they don't accept her, they instead, shut her away and make her feel guilty/responsible. To me, the parents are actually abusive, and it is the emotional landscape that they create that leads to Anna, who falls in love with strangers and is extremely needy, and Elsa, who fears herself, blames herself, and chooses to shut herself off. It's weird that I loved this movie, but it is so profoundly disturbing as well.

ME: Yes, it is disturbing Suz, but it's also so beautiful. It's such a great recovery story. An holistic healing story. The adults are out-of-touch. And that lack of parental understanding is a strong childhood motif. Seen very profoundly in Wizard of Oz. Dorothy has to fix everything herself...the adults are loving but inept. I believe Elsa and Anna s parents didn't mean to be abusive. They were ignorant and afraid. I think that is what we can see in past generations...these parents that are in denial....or just hide "freak" behaviour. In order to be a supportive care-giver yo need to spend time with the children. This metaphor potential of "royalty" that only deals with the surface persona of the royalty. We are special because of our powers. Growing up is learning not to blame others, to care for others and be kind and understanding even when our friends or family do uncomfortable things. To communicate and express those powers not lock them away. Also...so many children don't know how to resolve anger. Again, why HULk and ELSa are so profound to children. Children want to be Elsa because she is special and has powers and can't predict how her energy will hurt or benefit. Kids see the world as they are always excited to do stuff...but sometimes their behavior is unaccepted, sometimes it isn't sharing or helpful....they get in trouble. It's interesting how Elsa's parents give her a "time out"...but later...Elsa empowers herself with her own mandate of separation and solitude. Kids need to learn to control themselves and give themselves time to "calm down". Again...aprocess of growing up.

_____________I have issues w the movie. The parents keep Elsa from being who she is. Elsa ignores her sister for years. Ana keeps loving Elsa even when she clearly wants nothing to do with her! And of course, as always, Disney kills the parents bc it's the only way a hero can possibly be created! Then the only way in which Elsa can control her power is by being admitting that she has it instead of following her stupid parents idea of repressing it. And you wonder why there need to be psychologists in the world!

ME: Well,_____, it does have terrible dark sides to it. We don't need psychologists because of Disney...Disney is working in a classical storytelling tradition we have all practiced for thousands of years. These kidnds of stories really help children. So many time adults have been afraid to face these kinds of issues. Childhood wounds...unresolved are the reason we need therapy and recovery and psychologists. Not because of our stories. Our stories reflect our pain. Kids get this movie Frozen. It's adults who find it painful...we find it disturbing and painful because we need to resolve and heal OUR OWN childhood wounds. Many parents are exactly like Elsa and Annas parents....and remember the girls are still growing...as they become adults they learn how to work with their problems and each other and the community! Elsa and Anna make some mistakes as children....the empowerment occurs when they learn how to live and love while reconciling behavior and "flaws"... I also truly believe that these fairytales are brilliant because they show kids they can deal and grow ....we can do it by love and self-awareness. The psychologists are there for those people who are stuck and lost...wondering why their relationships aren't satisfying? Most people resist the idea that they can be adults who are still suffering from childhood wounds...sometimes it takes talking to a psychiatrist to realize that about oneself. All conflict is unresolved childhood wounds....

___________As a therapist myself, I agree with what you are saying about unresolved childhood conflict being worked through in the therapist's office. However, I don't agree that the kids "get" the stories and that the adults are the only ones who can recognize the pain that it's being portrayed. My children found it hard to watch Elsa ignore Anna over and over again and said it was sad. In Tangled, my son was very upset to watch the witch stab the prince to death! He had an even worse reaction to the beginning of "Ice Age" when the mom ran with the baby and leaves it to the mammoth and then drowns! Ugh! And I am definitely NOT saying that we need psychologists because of Disney (that would be a silly statement on my part).The profession was created way before Disney as a response to the needed profession that finally sat to deal with the "thousands of year old" human psyche! What I am saying is that I simply did not enjoy this movie and neither did my sensitive children!

ME: Oh you didn't enjoy the movie...see I did not see you say that earlier. Not liking the movie is one thing. Fair enough, different strokes for different folks. I had the impression you thought it wasn't a good movie. Because it really is a marvelous movie that most children feel empowered by and relate to,,,even though it has disturbing aspects. But to repeat what I said earlier...I said it the adults who don't get the movie Frozen. Kids totally get the movie. It's SUPPOSED to be sad when Elsa doesn't open the door. Thats the point. I did not say that childhood wounds get worked out in therapists office. I said, if people don't resolve their childhood wounds they will approach adult life with conflict. People can resolve their childhood wounds on their own, with their friends, through spiritual path, with a family doctor, with a priest or reverend, or with a therapist. When we see disagreements or feel disagreements and want to have conflict...those are unresolved childhood wounds being acted out. What we often see when we observe Disney movies, or fairytales is adults who are terribly conflicted about the content of these stories...and then having to deal with these hefty subjects with their children. Some people enjoy opening dialogue about siblings and sibling rivalry...and some don't. The movie Frozen has some very very sad aspects to it and that is why it is so profoundly popular because it is a healing story. It's redemptive. Art has the power to transform and teach us...whether we "like" it or not...isn't that fantastic!? We are able to use our imaginations to learn heal and feel compassion for the characters in Frozen...therefore helping us grow and build character through compassion. Those of us who enjoyed Frozen have utter compassion for the struggle of Anna and Else. We suffer as they suffer. We cry when Ana sing "do you want to build a snowman"....We love them and feel cathartic joy when they become grown ups and heal and find out how to love and talk to each other!

Friday, January 09, 2015

Why Do We Tip?

Often people believe that we tip servers in order to get excellent service. 

What exactly defines "good service" might seem up for debate, but I say it is not. And here are some of my reasons:

A good employer of a server understands that there is something intangible that occurs between a server and their customer. 

Although customers want efficient and timely service those aren't the only qualities a good server provides. Sometimes one can have a  server who isn't the greatest waiter or bartender at all, but provides that intangible chemistry with their humour or pleasant personality while getting you your orders. A customer needs to feel comfortable in a restaurant or bar especially when it comes to food and atmosphere. The more comfortable one's server is, the more comfortable the customer feels.

A person who owns or runs a restaurant, a club, or is a manger is usually paid by salary and therefore isn't taking a risk week by week in the same way a server takes a risk. A server literally does not know how much money they will make per week. They take a risk every shift. Yet, the secret to their success as a server lies in letting that risk go and being comfortable, sincerely friendly, and personable and efficient. If some degree of these energies is missing in the server....things begin to fall apart for the customer.

The server is there for the customer in a unique manner without being part of the profit of the business or organization. A manager, boss, or owner all have a degree of conflict of interest for the customer. Of course those roles want the best for the customer idealistically but mixed with the pressures of running a food and beverage establishment profitably there is a chance of those ideals being compromised.

Since a server is being paid primarily by a customer through the tipping format, the customer and server have a bond. Some of that bond is understandable, a decent server will guide a patron to avoid weaker menu items, will recommend items and set the tone of a comfortable interesting atmosphere while maintaining quality control.

How this is done by a server is the intangible part. And it's something that only some personalities can perform. Those of us who dine out and enjoy eating and drinking in a  public business know this is worth every dollar of our tipping.

The government and labour laws have forced employers to pay servers a cursory wage. That wage covers the labours of a server filling up salt and pepper shakers, getting their clothes cleaned, doing odd jobs directly related to table service...but the major employer of a server is the customer. And that gives keeps the business customer-friendly. Servers are "front-of'-the-house" workers which means they need their hair and clothing to be fresh and tidy and fairly well-put-together. They don't wash dishes or prepare food because they need to keep their appearance tidy and they handle money. Servers also need to be able to navigate potentially testy  co-workers and staff, and bosses who are worried about profit, while appearing calm and enjoying the social aspect of being in a  public space. Competent servers  work between the front of the house and the management/kitchen  maintaining a pleasant if not super-fun mood for the room.

Any experienced customer who has dined in a  restaurant where the owner or manager has spent too much time at a table visiting and trying to fawn on tables knows they are seeing someone sweat over the bills. A server can alleviate that kind of tension and allow an owner or management to keep watch of the ordering, cooking,  deliveries and bills without scaring off customers and work on the business. Some inexperienced owners, bosses and managers are not aware that they are often off-putting to the customers. Severs never tell the bosses that information, just like any multi-level business no one wants to criticize their administrations. The daily financial risk a server takes while being a source of care-giving is a truly intangible quality. 

Since food and beverages are so primal they trigger many inner feelings for all of us. Having a person we bond with as a server, who has nothing invested in the profit of a business while invested in the overall well-being of a business, helps us reconcile the unconscious positive and negative associations we have with food and community of a public space.

Any one of these factors, however intangible our relationships with servers may be, is worth the tipping. 

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