Remeber those shot-gun-shell strings of lights we bought in the spring? We put them up.
My studio area. Have you ever had a time in your life when you feel like you should be doing something...but you're not sure exactly what? Basically...for the last few weeks I felt I should be doing A,B &C. But it wasn't coming together or making sense. So then I have a little slump. Not sad...just almost like frozen. Don't move. Wait. And then about 10 days ago I said no. Just write some things down that you can do something about and do them.
Sometimes I think a large part of my life is one big leap of faith after another. Sometimes, that worries me like it's not responsible. Like maybe I'm crazy. I live in a dream world. But really...I don't think I know any other way of doing things.
Making some more wallpaper.
9 comments:
Loving the lights. Hope they got all the gunpowder out of the shells! You gotta move at your own pace; that's all any of us can do. What's "responsible"? We all have differing opinions on that, I'm sure.
Aye, love the lights and your combat curtains! So cool!
The pictures of your studio remind me that we have this awesome magazine that we've set aside to send you. I think it might prove a rich source of material for your and Stagg's collages. Or maybe not... Either way, I think you'll like it, it's an old copy of a mag published by the Photography Museum in Amsterdam. Long story as to how it ended up in my hands in the first place!
Reading through some of my favourite blogs, it seems that quite a few of us have had strange experiences in the past few weeks. Not negative as such, but that made us question other stuff. Anyway, I can only hope we all come out of it empowered and more determined. Sounds like you did!
Reponsible?? Who is always 100% responsible all the time?? but love the lights and you curtains are prety neat also.
Combat curtains?? Shotgun Shell lights?? Christ! I thought you'd moved to Iraq for a second or two...
er...my bedroom needs a makeover...
any chance babe? pleeeeeease...
I'll have to do it otherwise.
Four dinners...I WOULDlove to make over your bedroom..I love decorating!
thanks Tweety...no we can't be responsible all the time...it's a weird outside force that I need to think about occassionally. what am I doing and why do I feel a need for a particular result blah blah blah. Heh heh...
REd,OOOh a magazine...an exotic magazine too from amsterdam...Stagg will be thrilled too. Yes life is a pendulum...sometimes it's easy to forget that phases wil come and go. You know, I can be such a busy person..and then sometimes I am like what am I doing this for...where is the direction...it's like UI'm hyper and then I stop and say what was that?
* yes it's true we all have our ideas we were taught about "practical" or "responsible" usually I don't feel most of the ambitions others feel...and sometimes I wonder...it's like a kittle kid "are we there yet" and what a silly notion...not very zen ha ha...
I have those feelings all of the time.
For you..perhaps the firecracker lights are a metaphor of you...."waiting to explode"....only the explosions are your creative happenings all around you. The curtain material - a sign of your fearless living of life! Your disguise at first glance is that of a normal human being, but you are not - you are WARRIOR WOMAN!
Its curious - I see you as very connected - to yourself, to others, to art, your writing, your film making. The planet.
You are incredibly wise and caring as well. To me that is all part and parcel of a fire of creativity and graciousness that burns in you - and it is not bad to have a fire burning. (or firecrackers - at least their destiny is to explode - not to sit as a "dud"). Sometimes exhausting perhaps -
Your uniqueness is strictly you - and I think we can have many vision quests throughout life - I dread them in a way - in another way I embrace them.....I do have a feeling we'll never really see Nirvana in this life however - - -
You'll come out of this vision quest with something new.....I don't know what, but you will....
Hmmmm, decorating by symbolism reflecting a person's inner being? Spiritual Decorating? Hmmmmmm?????
Oh Gardenia how wonderful, thanks. It's relentless effort that I love and I think sometimes my ideas are going faster than I can process...maybe that's it.
I've got this old photo of me at a family party. It was one of the rare moments of my life where I made the effort to "blend" and not be a freak and be conservative for a formal function. In the picture you can see I have a very nice trendy hairstyle, a wite turtle neck thin woven sweater and a pale green skirt. Brand new.
but when you look at it twice...you see my bloody black bra!!!
Hey...you can take the girl out of the punk but you can't take the punk out of the girl.
I think I keep this photo because it's one of the lasttimes I tried to be "blending"...I always try notto offend, or to be "a normal person" but most of the time...I really am living in a dream world.
I know KNOW...one of the major reasons Stagg and I are together is because we both live in this world of dreams and reverie and fantasy. Sometimes we've both been labeled crazy...but it works for us...it's just sometimes, it hurts...it feels like you're not "getting anywhere" even though my meditation and passion says "there isn't somewhere to go"....
Nothing like a string of shell lights to brighten the place. When I'm stuck on a painting or have no painting to be stuck on I read Art books. You know that place on College St, Belfour books, I go there and look at stuff.
Without dreams, etc., there is no art, no film, no writers.
And really, really, would you want to be different than what you are, either of you? I think when it hits the bottom line - no!
You have NO idea what a refreshing, stimulating, wonderful, fulfilling time I had with you guys in one evening. If you are going nowhere, then next time, invite me!!!!! Just teasing.
I do go through a lot of - aww, I should've stayed at the City, our house would have been paid off, etc., etc.....retirement funds in the bank. Then I think, aww, I should've kept my mouth shut over the wickedness at the County and I could've stayed for retirement....awww at 18 I should've went to work for BLM and stayed all my life.......but you know what? I think would have died - there wouldn't have been trips to oddball places like Albania - I wouldn't have taken up and ran to NOLA to meet someone I met on the web - I wouldn't have picked up a paint brush, I would never have written shocking poems......
ahh, childhood - your parents should have smiled over the black bra, I hope they did. My wild child with her leopard clothes, red and black hair and many tattoos - -
well, she's a unique wonderful person unlike anyone else, and so is my mystical, yet conservative child, and my gone artist child - and that's what makes us eccentrical people magical. If not a bit strange. :)
Sometimes minds are born that want everything - if given the time, these minds would live a thousand lives with a thousand goals accomplished all in this long span of time - but the way life is - we gotta squeeze it into this lifetime of 70-90 years - that's tough.
Post a Comment